“Good Morning Everyone” I shout as I come through the back door of the office. I hear a few distinct replays and immediately take notice that Jim didn’t reply.
Knowing I’m the center of the universe I walk Down to Kim’s office to find him huddled behind a computer screen. ” so how you doing this morning Jim” Jim gives a quick nod says “not bad you”? Thinking he cares I pull up a chair and start rambling on until Jim abruptly say “I’m kind of busy this morning can we talk later?”
I knew it I think to myself, Jim doesn’t like me! So I spend the rest of the day giving Jim the cold shoulder even when he attempts to be polite and apologize for being wrapped up in work.
It never occurs to me that Jim and I never talk any ways. It’s not like we even get lunch together.
Recovery has helped me to not be so self absorbed. If I choose to say hello and someone doesn’t respond maybe they didn’t hear me. Even if someone doesn’t want to talk with me I have to ask myself is it really a big deal.
This may seem like a silly example but my life before recovery was all about waiting for approval. Today I’m learning to stand on my own two feet and accept my place in the world.
If I expect everyone to live their lives around me then I’m a fool. The more I pay attention to myself and my character defects the more I can accept others.
Maybe I won’t be friends with everyone I meet but I don’t have to be as long as I’m my friend.