Drama

I’ll admit that I can get addicted to the Drama in my life. For the longest time if there wasn’t something bad going on I looked for the opportunity to make something go wrong. Let’s just say I was a backwards individual, even though honestly I don’t feel that I knew any better.

I like to imagine fishing with a lure. I get so excited seeing the fish come out of the water to bite anything I threw in no matter how ridiculous it looked. I felt the same as those fish in the pond ready to strike at the first flash of hostility. Looking back at these times I’m surprised anyone gave me the time of day. I was crazy.

I realize today that being in dysfunctional relationships enhanced some of my defense systems. I was doing exactly what I had seen around me. If I didn’t understand something I would yell at it or question it in to submission otherwise I felt like I was not doing my part. I never realized that I was making a situation worse.

Time has been the only cure to unraveling the mess that had become my life. I had to get to a point where I was tired of being angry all the time. I mean I didn’t feel like an angry person yet my actions said other wise.

The hard part of my recovery has been setting boundaries. I’m the type of person who never wants to miss out on anything and it has been a tough pill to swallow that somethings are none of my business. This may sound corny but I’ve had to find my Inner Peace. I’ve had to learn that when I feel tempted to intervene I have to pray about it and sometimes the only action I can take is to LET IT GO.

 

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One thought on “Drama

  1. There was a time that I needed the drama too. I’m not so sure I created it for anyone else but I certainly did for myself. I thrived off the drama of others because I needed to be needed. I needed them to need me to help them. I felt good if I could help them but then they didn’t need me anymore so I needed to find someone else with drama so I could help them. Ugh, what a vicious, tiresome, endless dance.

    I love the fact that my life is peaceful now and that I do not need to rescue others from their drama. Sure, sometimes I help when I can, in whatever way may be needed but mostly, I listen and encourage them to figure it out on their own because as you said, sometimes it’s just none of my business. Thank you for you post!

    Liked by 1 person

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